The all-or-nothing mindset (also known as polarized thinking, dichotomous thinking or “black‑and‑white thinking”) is a common thinking error that turns you into a bitter perfectionist who gets emotionally irritated by the smallest deviations from unreachable expectations. Since your expectations are completely unrealistic, and then life happens, you are constantly irritated, bitter and depressed. With all-or-nothing thinking, any small imperfection turns your life into a big drama. Many times, you even tend to blame yourself for it. And during the day, many imperfections always do happen. How good can you feel then about yourself and life? Once you become aware of your all-or-nothing thinking patterns and how silly they are, you can finally breathe easier and calm down.
Tag: life skills
About all the useful skills you should develop, because they are desirable or even necessary for full participation in everyday life.
Jumping to conclusions is one of the most common forms of negative thinking. The problem with this type of a cognitive distortion (or cognitive bias) is that conclusions are in most cases negative; catastrophically negative. You usually jump to a negative conclusion without any justifiable facts of the situation or reality. In the next step, you start torturing yourself with how unlucky you are. The “Jumping-to-conclusions” mindset is like owning a crystal ball that predicts only misery. If you had such a crystal ball , what would you do with it? You would throw it immediately away, of course. So there is not a single reason to keep such a negative way of thinking in your mind.
For most of my career, I’ve been working with rich people from all over the world – entrepreneurs, investors, investment bankers, business angels, managers, lawyers and others. When I was in my 20s, working with successful business people was really fascinating and a big honor to me, and not to mention the best learning experience ever. Now in my 30s, many of my friends are getting rich or are at least financially very well-off. In general, I could say that they achieved financial prosperity on their own with a smart strategy, hard work, dedication, persistence and stamina, but there’s always also strong support from the environment present – family, ecosystem, market trends, investors, best schools, and so on. You need both. Nobody can succeed alone. On top of that, I always liked studying successful people from all over the world, who are most often also rich (people on Forbes’ list …
People who are naturally assertive had their needs properly met when they were young. Thus, they developed a sense of trust, autonomy, initiative, industry, clear identity and great capacity for love. All that gives them the inner strength to go after their goals. But even if you aren’t naturally assertive, you have the power to change that. By developing healthy assertiveness, you’ll feel more confident, your relationships will improve, negative feelings will go away and you’ll feel much better and happier in general. You know that it’s better to live a single day as a lion than years as a sheep.
Looking at life from a psychological perspective, we can say that the point of existing is to satisfy the constant flow of your needs. In your lifetime, there’s a constant flow of new needs, and your mission is to make yourself happy by satisfying them. It’s that simple. Nevertheless, your needs must be met in a healthy and socially acceptable manner, in an absence of internal conflicts, which can often be challenging. That’s where healthy assertiveness comes into play. Unfortunately, healthy assertiveness is not as common as one would think. It actually takes quite a strong and emotionally sharp character to be assertive in a healthy way. You must trust in yourself and in the (highly probable) positive response that the environment will have to your need. You must be bold enough to act and go after your goals and desires, but on the other hand you must also respect …