Tag: life skills

About all the useful skills you should develop, because they are desirable or even necessary for full participation in everyday life.

Switch – How to change things when change is hard – Book Summary

By nature, we all like status quo, certainty and control over every situation. But life has become extremely complex, fast-changing and uncertain. That means the only constant in our professional and personal lives is change. And change goes against our basic nature. The winners are people who learn to do hard things. Managing change is one of them, because it enables you to become flexible and adapt to any new situation. It enables you to grow and move forward. One of the best books that teaches people how to change things when change is hard is called Switch, written by Chip & Dan Heath. The book presents many interesting stories of how change was successfully implemented. It also offers a very precise and simple step-by-step formula for implementing change. That’s why I decided to write a summary of the book.

How to become the best version of yourself

You are here on this world for three main reasons. The first one is to experience as many different things as possible and enjoy life to the full. The second one is to create, contribute, share, and leave a positive legacy behind. And the third reason why you’re here on this planet is to improve, evolve, grow and become the best version of yourself. So the question is: what can you do to make sure you become the best version of yourself? The initial step towards becoming the best version of yourself is knowing your ideal self very well. The best way to do that is to make a persona of your ideal self. In general, personas are used in marketing for fictional characters representing the ideal customer or a typical representative of a user segment, but they can easily be used to clarify who you want to become. The …

Emotional accounting – The formula for transforming negative thoughts into positive ones

In this blog post you will learn how to really think positively and how to simply transform negative thoughts into positive ones (or at least neutralize the darkest ones). As we all know it, positive thinking is a very important part of a happy and successful life, but you can’t just decide to think more positively. If it were that simple, everyone would be happy and optimistic and super positive. As you can’t just decide to think more positively, you also can’t force yourself into positive thinking. It will only make you miserable. Trust me, I tried that approach. When you try to force yourself into positive thinking, every time a negative thought crosses your mind, you will only get mad and angry and disappointed, and that means even more negative thoughts. You accomplish the opposite. What you need is a simple step-by-step process to gently outsmart your negative thoughts. …

How you negative mind is labeling and mislabeling yourself and other people

Negative labeling is one of the cognitive distortions. A child accidentally spills milk and the next thing s/he hears is “you’re so clumsy” or maybe even “you’re my clumsy little baby” with a kind, cynical voice. Then s/he hears it again and again and again, and soon s/he starts to believe that s/he really is clumsy. Every small ineptitude that happens later in the adult age makes the person feel horrible, enforcing the clumsiness label even further. There are two options when it comes to labeling yourself or others. A label might be complete fiction. Just a falsely installed belief that has nothing to do with reality. Or there really is some behavioral drawback present, but by labeling you make that one single behavior into a characteristic and apply it to the person as a whole. Both types of labeling (or name-calling) bring nothing but negative thoughts and energy in …

No More Mr. Nice Guy – Why women don’t like nice guys – Book Summary

A nice guy can be quickly confused when they hear the statement that women are attracted to assholes and that nice guys finish last. I suffered from the same confusion, not knowing why being nice is so problematic. I always wanted to be exclusively a nice person, but that often didn’t lead to the results I wanted. Sometimes it backfired in a nasty way and I didn’t understand why. At the end of the day, I was only being nice. The confusion went away after reading No More Mr. Nice Guy written by the psychotherapist Robert A. Glover. After reading the book, I finally understood that there is a healthy form of being nice (something we should all do) and a very toxic one (fawning). And the toxic form is the one that backfires almost every time, because it’s nothing but a manipulation strategy. Being a nice guy (the toxic …