“Soft indicators” of emotional pain and psychological issues many times get ignored. It’s like having a papercut that never gets healed. But the cost of any lasting emotional pain is enormous. Relationships suffer, life can’t be fully enjoyed, you rarely believe in yourself enough to follow your own dreams, even small irritations lead to emotional overreactions. Happiness with a smile on your face becomes something alien to you. It’s definitely worth to tackle even the smallest emotional issue and solve it once and for all. In this blog post you will find the list of eighteen soft indicators of a turbulent personality, emotional suffering or small psychological issues which point to a high probability that you can strengthen your mind and emotional stability for a better quality of life.
Negative labeling is one of the cognitive distortions. A child accidentally spills milk and the next thing s/he hears is “you’re so clumsy” or maybe even “you’re my clumsy little baby” with a kind, cynical voice. Then s/he hears it again and again and again, and soon s/he starts to believe that s/he really is clumsy. Every small ineptitude that happens later in the adult age makes the person feel horrible, enforcing the clumsiness label even further. There are two options when it comes to labeling yourself or others. A label might be complete fiction. Just a falsely installed belief that has nothing to do with reality. Or there really is some behavioral drawback present, but by labeling you make that one single behavior into a characteristic and apply it to the person as a whole. Both types of labeling (or name-calling) bring nothing but negative thoughts and energy in …
A nice guy can be quickly confused when they hear the statement that women are attracted to assholes and that nice guys finish last. I suffered from the same confusion, not knowing why being nice is so problematic. I always wanted to be exclusively a nice person, but that often didn’t lead to the results I wanted. Sometimes it backfired in a nasty way and I didn’t understand why. At the end of the day, I was only being nice. The confusion went away after reading No More Mr. Nice Guy written by the psychotherapist Robert A. Glover. After reading the book, I finally understood that there is a healthy form of being nice (something we should all do) and a very toxic one (fawning). And the toxic form is the one that backfires almost every time, because it’s nothing but a manipulation strategy. Being a nice guy (the toxic …
The all-or-nothing mindset (also known as polarized thinking, dichotomous thinking or “black‑and‑white thinking”) is a common thinking error that turns you into a bitter perfectionist who gets emotionally irritated by the smallest deviations from unreachable expectations. Since your expectations are completely unrealistic, and then life happens, you are constantly irritated, bitter and depressed. With all-or-nothing thinking, any small imperfection turns your life into a big drama. Many times, you even tend to blame yourself for it. And during the day, many imperfections always do happen. How good can you feel then about yourself and life? Once you become aware of your all-or-nothing thinking patterns and how silly they are, you can finally breathe easier and calm down.
If you just took over a leadership position or you're about to, The first 90 days by Michael D. Watkins is absolutely the book to go to. It gives you a really good step-by-step master plan on what to do and how in the first 90 days after being appointed to a new leadership position. The President of the USA has a 100 days to prove himself. You only have 90 if you have taken over a new leadership position. If you can’t build a suitable positive new momentum during this time, there might be hard work ahead of you or your leadership might even be doomed to failure.
Jumping to conclusions is one of the most common forms of negative thinking. The problem with this type of a cognitive distortion (or cognitive bias) is that conclusions are in most cases negative; catastrophically negative. You usually jump to a negative conclusion without any justifiable facts of the situation or reality. In the next step, you start torturing yourself with how unlucky you are. The “Jumping-to-conclusions” mindset is like owning a crystal ball that predicts only misery. If you had such a crystal ball , what would you do with it? You would throw it immediately away, of course. So there is not a single reason to keep such a negative way of thinking in your mind.
You can go to the best fortuneteller in the world, and it’s still impossible to predict the long-term future. Nobody knows what will happen in 10 years’ time, even less what life has prepared for you or for anyone else for that matter. There are just too many variables. Your values change over time, you have no idea where the global flows will turn and what kind of life opportunities or tragedies will test your character. The long-term future is a complete mystery. But with short-term planning and predicting, we can definitely be more confident and optimistic. You can play a fortuneteller at least to some extent when it comes to the near future. Are you wondering how? The best way to predict the short-term future is to look at your (or anyone else’s) short-term history.
For most of my career, I’ve been working with rich people from all over the world – entrepreneurs, investors, investment bankers, business angels, managers, lawyers and others. When I was in my 20s, working with successful business people was really fascinating and a big honor to me, and not to mention the best learning experience ever. Now in my 30s, many of my friends are getting rich or are at least financially very well-off. In general, I could say that they achieved financial prosperity on their own with a smart strategy, hard work, dedication, persistence and stamina, but there’s always also strong support from the environment present – family, ecosystem, market trends, investors, best schools, and so on. You need both. Nobody can succeed alone. On top of that, I always liked studying successful people from all over the world, who are most often also rich (people on Forbes’ list …
Barry Allen might be the fastest human alive, but I can definitely eat faster than he ever will. There’s one thing that could put me in the Guinness book of world records (I can eat 3 bananas in the blink of an eye), yet eating slowly is some of the best health advice ever when it comes to diet and nutrition. How unfair can life be? I must put tremendous effort into eating slowly; and to be completely honest with you, I manage to do it approximately half of the time. To stay optimistic, that means I’m halfway there. Based on my own observations and some research, let’s look at the main reasons why you should eat slowly; or at least torture yourself to do so.
People who are naturally assertive had their needs properly met when they were young. Thus, they developed a sense of trust, autonomy, initiative, industry, clear identity and great capacity for love. All that gives them the inner strength to go after their goals. But even if you aren’t naturally assertive, you have the power to change that. By developing healthy assertiveness, you’ll feel more confident, your relationships will improve, negative feelings will go away and you’ll feel much better and happier in general. You know that it’s better to live a single day as a lion than years as a sheep.