Author: Blaz Kos

Emotional accounting – The formula for transforming negative thoughts into positive ones

In this blog post you will learn how to really think positively and how to simply transform negative thoughts into positive ones (or at least neutralize the darkest ones). As we all know it, positive thinking is a very important part of a happy and successful life, but you can’t just decide to think more positively. If it were that simple, everyone would be happy and optimistic and super positive. As you can’t just decide to think more positively, you also can’t force yourself into positive thinking. It will only make you miserable. Trust me, I tried that approach. When you try to force yourself into positive thinking, every time a negative thought crosses your mind, you will only get mad and angry and disappointed, and that means even more negative thoughts. You accomplish the opposite. What you need is a simple step-by-step process to gently outsmart your negative thoughts. …

20 not so obvious indicators of emotional pain and psychological suffering

“Soft indicators” of emotional pain and psychological issues many times get ignored. It’s like having a papercut that never gets healed. But the cost of any lasting emotional pain is enormous. Relationships suffer, life can’t be fully enjoyed, you rarely believe in yourself enough to follow your own dreams, even small irritations lead to emotional overreactions. Happiness with a smile on your face becomes something alien to you. It’s definitely worth to tackle even the smallest emotional issue and solve it once and for all. In this blog post you will find the list of eighteen soft indicators of a turbulent personality, emotional suffering or small psychological issues which point to a high probability that you can strengthen your mind and emotional stability for a better quality of life.

How you negative mind is labeling and mislabeling yourself and other people

Negative labeling is one of the cognitive distortions. A child accidentally spills milk and the next thing s/he hears is “you’re so clumsy” or maybe even “you’re my clumsy little baby” with a kind, cynical voice. Then s/he hears it again and again and again, and soon s/he starts to believe that s/he really is clumsy. Every small ineptitude that happens later in the adult age makes the person feel horrible, enforcing the clumsiness label even further. There are two options when it comes to labeling yourself or others. A label might be complete fiction. Just a falsely installed belief that has nothing to do with reality. Or there really is some behavioral drawback present, but by labeling you make that one single behavior into a characteristic and apply it to the person as a whole. Both types of labeling (or name-calling) bring nothing but negative thoughts and energy in …

No More Mr. Nice Guy – Why women don’t like nice guys – Book Summary

A nice guy can be quickly confused when they hear the statement that women are attracted to assholes and that nice guys finish last. I suffered from the same confusion, not knowing why being nice is so problematic. I always wanted to be exclusively a nice person, but that often didn’t lead to the results I wanted. Sometimes it backfired in a nasty way and I didn’t understand why. At the end of the day, I was only being nice. The confusion went away after reading No More Mr. Nice Guy written by the psychotherapist Robert A. Glover. After reading the book, I finally understood that there is a healthy form of being nice (something we should all do) and a very toxic one (fawning). And the toxic form is the one that backfires almost every time, because it’s nothing but a manipulation strategy. Being a nice guy (the toxic …

All-or-nothing thinking: It’s silly to expect you can have everything

The all-or-nothing mindset (also known as polarized thinking, dichotomous thinking or “black‑and‑white thinking”) is a common thinking error that turns you into a bitter perfectionist who gets emotionally irritated by the smallest deviations from unreachable expectations. Since your expectations are completely unrealistic, and then life happens, you are constantly irritated, bitter and depressed. With all-or-nothing thinking, any small imperfection turns your life into a big drama. Many times, you even tend to blame yourself for it. And during the day, many imperfections always do happen. How good can you feel then about yourself and life? Once you become aware of your all-or-nothing thinking patterns and how silly they are, you can finally breathe easier and calm down.